This week we had our ultrasound for Numero Dos (our affectionate nickname for our second baby still in utero). When I say ultrasound I mean the ultrasound. The 20-24 week ultrasound that can determine basic baby anatomy and, if you so choose to find out, the gender of your darling bundle of joy.
Our little bundle of joy is healthy and doing well and is, thankfully, still human. We asked not to learn the gender of our new addition, and although I had mistakenly thought the baby’s kidneys were testes, we still are in the dark.
We had been through this ultrasound before with Bitsy Girl: first they scan the whole body, check the spine and extremities, then they move in to check internal organs. Beard was in the room with me, trying to contain our squirming 13 month old daughter and still pay attention to the last glimpse of our second child we would probably get before he/she is born.
I will be honest it felt very routine, and I didn’t notice anything different. That is until the ultrasound technician excused herself to get the midwife. What seemed like 15 minutes later both the tech and the midwife returned to tell us that they found an anomaly on our baby’s ultrasound. He/she has a normal left arm until about where the wrist would be, then there is nothing after that. No wrist, no hand.
The ultrasound technician looked for other abnormalities that usually present themselves alongside this one like club foot or cleft palette. Nothing else seemed wrong or out of place.
Of course that first day both Beard and I were in shock. Our baby would have only one hand; he or she would be handicapped. If we were honest, we both had to mourn the loss of this little baby’s hand.
Because we never want our child to have to mourn the loss of their hand. We want them to live a full life and do whatever it is they want to do, regardless of their perceived handicap. As Beard so aptly put it: We don’t want to be the parents that look at their own child with pity in our eyes. We want to look at all of our children with love and the knowledge of the great amount of potential they have.
It’s clear to both of us that God has some special plans for our little girl or guy growing in my belly. Neither of us could venture a guess of what it might be, but we are both anticipating the day our child discovers what it is God has in store for him or her. We hope he or she will do great things with what they’ve been given, just like Bitsy Girl and any other children we may have.
All of that being said, this afternoon I am thankful for several things I wanted to share:
- Modern Technology: which has allowed us to learn this thing about our unborn child and to prepare for it before he or she is even born. We hope that by learning this early we will better be able to parent this child normally.
- The Health of My Family: this baby is perfectly healthy, and all of his or her organs are functioning. Later that day Bitsy Girl had her 12 month check-up, and she is not only happy and personable, but healthy and growing well. Beard has been fighting a cold, but generally is healthy and able to go to work everyday to provide. And I have easy pregnancies (I know I’m making some of you very angry); other than being tired I generally have been feeling well enough to keep up with household duties in addition to chasing after the Bitsy Girl
- A Sweet Beard: Yes, sometimes I call my husband Sweet Beard. In public. But that’s because he is. He keeps me level-headed when I need to be, and makes me take breaks when I don’t think I need them. And he will always be my partner in life (and in crime ;-D ).
- A Faithful and Forgiving God: Without whom I would still be swimming in grief and guilt over such a small issue.
Thank you all for reading. Until next time..