Grieving Babies

Life has been growing more and more challenging this week.  My babies are grieving the loss of their grandmother.

Yes, friends, babies grieve.

Since my oldest child just turned two, I didn’t think I would have much to deal with as far as their grief, but I was wrong.

My Madeline was nearly potty-trained just two months ago.  She would hardly have accidents and I could confidently take her out in underpants without fretting about her wetting her car seat or making a puddle in aisle 6 at the grocery store.

Today she had three accidents.

Today.

That is more than she had in a few weeks just a month ago.

My natural instinct is to reprimand or punish my daughter.  She is very smart for her age, and because of her extensive vocabulary and strong sentence structure, she often fools me into thinking she is older than she is.

But she is just two.

Two years old, and she just lost grandma.

If there is an appropriate time for grace in the area of potty-training, it would be now.

My baby, Clara, has also had some different behaviors lately.  She is notably more cranky and difficult to put to bed.  She wakes up crying in the evening after bedtime sometimes, wanting to be cuddled or nursed.

The few times we have had a sitter watch our girls, she was only able to get Clara to sleep by cuddling with her on the couch, then gently putting her in the crib.

My urge is to let her cry it out.  She is almost nine months old.

But she, too, needs grace.  My baby may not have words for what she is feeling, but she knows something is different and it doesn’t feel good to her.

After reading some helpful information on childgrief.org, I am determined to be more patient with my girls.  I need to show them patience, kindness, and love.  They need more hugs, more cuddles, and more kisses right now.

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