Recently I have been reading pieces of the Bible here and there in addition to going through the prophets with my husband. A few weeks ago I came across Proverbs 31:27:
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Am I a lazy individual?
No, not necessarily.
Even Beard will tell you I like to be busy.
But at times, when I feel overwhelmed with the girls, I can become idle. Almost stuck in my thoughts. I can’t physically do the next task because I can’t think of what has to be done, or I cannot bring myself to change my train of thought to something besides the kids.
I do spend a good amount of time with my girls each day. We read, we play, we cuddle, we tickle, we giggle. I really enjoy them, and I am so grateful for the time I get to spend at home with them.
Of course there’s a but…
I am home. And there are certain things that need to be done while I am home.
I am coming to the realization that having two babies at home really is a full-time job, and sometimes it is hard to pull myself from them to get the dishes done or to vacuum or sweep the kitchen.
But if I don’t, these tasks stare me in the face at 7:00 pm when the children are in bed. And because my husband works a late shift, I find myself doing household chores much later in the evening than I should be if I have a 5:00 am wake up call from Clara.
I am literally working overtime to get my chores done at night, and I am cutting into my time to myself or to work on other house projects.
This, I have noticed, has truly affected my attitude towards the girls. I can embitter myself towards them because they take up so much time.
How dare those babies be selfish and want their momma’s attention?!
It is my own fault for being idle and not choosing to step away for 30 minutes to an hour to get my household chores done while the little ones giggle to themselves in the living room over plastic food and “tea”.
Perhaps this is something that will save my sanity. And get me a bit more sleep each night.
All I know, is that if I were my own employer, I wouldn’t pay me overtime to get done after work what I should have gotten done during the day, so why should I tax my body overtime because my mind is too stubborn?