In four days I am going to Thailand.
Is that true? Am I really going through with it?
I have been planning and fundraising for this mission trip for the last eight months, and I’m almost in disbelief that it is here already.
I’m also totally floored by the fact that not only did my friends and family help me to raise the funds to go, but my funding exceeded the cost of the trip, allowing me to help a few of the other women to fully fund their trip cost.
I’m finding I have to constantly remind myself about these simple but powerful things:
- God put this mission trip to Bangkok, Thailand, on my heart four years ago. I have waited four years to go on this trip.
- I was one of 10 women out of over 30 selected to go on this trip, despite the fact that I have no prior experience in this type of mission work.
- The Lord showed up in huge ways through my friends and family to fund this trip.
Over the last eight months since I have been fundraising and preparing for this trip there have been so many things trying to take my attention off of these simple truths. The enemy has pulled my heart and emotions in all sorts of directions with different circumstances. I’ve had family problems, marital problems, and more than my fair share of parental frustrations. I have felt depressed. I have felt far from God, or at the very least, not on His radar.
As I look back, I hadn’t guarded my heart well enough. When the Lord sets a new assignment in front of me, I know that Satan is coming around the corner to distract me from it, and this was no exception. I could and should have spent the last eight months in prayer and study for my upcoming missions trip, but instead I spent it in prideful isolation. Sure I prayed occasionally to prepare my heart and the women going on the trip with me, but I hadn’t read or even skimmed any of the books suggested to our team. I haven’t had open discussions with the Lord about my fears of leaving my husband and children, about walking into a city with such evil that others can literally feel its presence, about talking to new people with a huge language barrier, and about sharing my story with women who have almost literally been to hell and back.
It is not too late, though. I have a few days left to have these discussions with God, and to have some of them with my husband and close friends. I have almost 36 hours on a plane to read Isaiah and a book or two on human trafficking. God can take these nearly wasted several months and put purpose to them. He can make them fruitful if I let Him, and He can make me fruitful during my time in Bangkok if I let Him.
And I will.
I am not sure if I will have internet access in Thailand, but I will at least bring a notebook and pen. I hope to record my experience and share as much of it as possible with my readers, in hopes that you too can be in awe of the ways the Lord can move in even the most hopeless of situations.